Bin Laden: Dead or Undead?

This latest round of terror warnings really kills me and my hope is that it will not kill some others, too. First of all, there was Michael Chertoff’s “gut feeling” pronouncement to set everyone’s nerves on edge a while ago. And then there’s the new hour-long Zawahiri rant with its embedded clip of Osama Bin Laden which, according to most experts, was as old as a papyrus tablet. The most interesting commentary so far is this theory of the “three warnings”. According to one commentator, Islamic law requires three warnings before violent action should be visited upon an enemy. Security analysts have counted this latest Zawahiri tape as the third. I would think it more likely that the Caliphate spends its free time watching American baseball and has adopted the three strikes rule. Surely, these jerkwads will attack any time they have a convenient opportunity. The nazi-inspired videos are the other hand of terror: propaganda. Terror doesn’t work so well unless it’s publicized, and where can you get a better audience for terror than in the likes of John Edwards, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and their political bed partners.

From John Edwards we get the now popular slogan: “The war on terror is nothing more than a bumper sticker.” From just about everyone else, you get the news that we’re wasting our efforts in Iraq “while Osama Bin Laden is still on the loose.”

But why would terrorists pass up the tremendous morale building new clip of a thriving leader and present the world with a five year old grainy clip of the dour-faced Jihadi millionaire? Wouldn’t the Islamist Fascists do better by presenting a real live Bin Laden instead of the wraith-like Dr. Zawahiri? How many thousand cowering bed-wetters will continue to gleefully say “while Bin Laden is on the loose” when it is quite possible that Bin Laden had a bite taken out of his sorry butt and has now gone to heaven?

Besides, if Bin Laden were still clinging to life somewhere in a bat-dungeon or a Pakistani basement hospital ward, it is quite obvious that he is too frightened even to fart for fear of being discovered.