Friday, July 18, 2008

Oil Minister Nancy Pelosi Touts Sacrifice to Prevail Against High Energy Prices

Oil Minister Nancy Pelosi, shown here exhibiting the sophistication and style which characterizes the Democratic leadership, voices her strong opposition to off-shore drilling as a way to curb home heating fuel and petrol prices.

“It rarely gets below fifty degrees in San Francisco, where I live,” chuckles Pelosi.

It is a point well taken by Pelosi’s ardent supporters. Presumptive presidential nominee Barak (sic) Obama echoes the slogan in his campaign speeches in the elegant phrase du jour.

“We can’t drill our way out of high petrol prices,” he intones passionately.

Asked to clarify details of his energy policy, Obama enthused about the merits of imported Brazilian switchgrass, windmills, and smartcars that would convert Chicago smog to usable fuels. He pointed to his admiration of former VP Al Gore, a man who, according to Obama, would lead the way to America’s energy future. Zooming off in one of his fleet Escalades, Obama waved grandly and looked toward the skyline in the visionary-style pose most favored by his press attaches at NBC, CBS, and ABC.

The ugly stain on the road and the nasty smell of burnt fuel would soon be a thing of the past with an Obama presidency. It is a point of pride with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that California has led the way for an America where many bitter people must deal with astronomical home heating bills, and are consequently were doomed to live cold lives clinging to guns and religion.

California, though, is a state with the toughest environmental rules in the nation. The regulatory environment might have been dreamed up by George Orwell, yet Pelosi smiles, loosens her chador and tosses her hair like a teenaged girl anxious to catch the cameras.

“It’s not for nothing that California is called the Golden State,” Pelosi trills.

No, indeed. And it’s not for nothing either that California is tied with Mississippi for third place in having the highest percentage of unemployment, its highest in five years. The unemployment picture was even worse in the Los Angeles area, jumping from 6.7% in May to 7% in June as America’s petrol prices increased and hampered American business. But Nancy Pelosi is not one to worry about trifles. She leaves that to George Bush whom she described yesterday as a failure. Undaunted by the 1.26 million unemployed Californians in the construction, financial, and manufacturing sectors, Pelosi steams ahead with her anti- offshore drilling policy and reiterates her support for….yes, that’s right…windmills, Brazilian switchgrass, and smartcars that convert smog to usable fuel.

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