Sunday, June 22, 2008

Barack Obama, The Movie (Sequence 2)

In a previous episode, presidential candidate Barack Obama struggles to quit smoking, his flip-flop persona on public funding of political campaigns, and worry about an interview with Mika Brezinki of MSNBC, The OBama Channel. Now, we continue with the latest happenings in the surreal world of the Obama Campaign:

Obama goes off to the lavatory to smoke his cigarette, calling behind him as he moves off:

Barack Obama (continued)
Get that statement ready on public campaign financing. I'll look it over when I come back.

Obama Aide Hillary Dale
Don't forget to turn on the exhaust fan. And hurry!...We're running behind on your interview with Mika Brezinski at MSNBC studios.

Fade to black....


The MSNBC Studios in New York. Joe Scarborough has taken a powder and Mika is accompanied only by her sidekick, Willie Geist. Mika Brezkinski nervously grasps the script on her desk, her mouth compressed.

Mika Brezinski
SHIT!...Shit, shit, shit!.... Where did I put the damn thing?...Shit!...

Willie Geist (mildly)
What thing? What are you looking for Mika?
Mika Brezinski
The phonetic spelling script..

Willie Geist
What on earth do you need that for?

Mika Brezinski (frustrated, grasping)
WILLIE!... You know I have trouble with names....

Willie Geist
Yeah, but we've had Obama on before...

Mika Brezinski (angrily)
Yes, yes Willie, we did! And I had trouble saying his name, didn't I? You remember, dont' you? And Scarborough's never let me live it down...screw him, anyway!

Willie Geist
We're ready? It's air-time....

Mika Brezinski
God!...Not now!...Tell 'em to wait a minute. You go on...say anything... I want that damn phonetic thing....

Willie Geist
Oh, Mika...that'll never happen again.

Mika Brezinski
What? What will never happen again?
What, Willie....Willie, if you so much as remind me of that again, I'll peel your skin, you little Nazi son-of-a-bitch....

Willie Geist (brightly facing the camera)
Okay, here we go, Mika...

The Camera opens up with a dual shot of Mika and Willie. Mika is smiling broadly, Willie beside her.

Mika Brezinski
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Morning Joe...
I'm not Scarborough, as you can see. And Willie's not Osama...eeeeek!....Holy shit!.. I did it again!....
(shocked, having forgotten herself for a moment, Mika looks wide-eyed at the camera)

Willie Geist (smoothly)
No, and I'm not Obama either, Mika, but we're going to get to him soon.

Mika Brezinski (recovered)
Yes, you heard right and if you've been watching you may have heard of our guest...
(pauses, looks about nervously)
...our Willie said...
(fearfully looks at Willie)

Willie Geist
Barack Obama will be with us today in just a few moments...right after this..


A political commercial by Moron dot Morg. This is a recent brilliant effort by Moron dot. Morg to undermine the presidential campaign of Obama rival John McCain. The camera opens on a woman holding a diapered infant in her arms. The woman is young, blond, white. The baby is young, blond, white.


On the young woman's face, tender, sniffing the air to inhale the sweet odor of baby powder. The infant makes little murmuring sounds.

Young Woman with Baby (guardedly)
Hello, John McCain, I want to introduce you to Alex.
(pushes baby forward toward the camera)
Yes, this is Alex, my son. I bet you never had a son, John McCain..because if you did he would be saying what my little Alex is saying right now. Do you hear, Senator McCain? Would you be able to hear Alex if you were president? Because what sounds like little gurgling noises to you makes a great deal of sense to me. Because what little Alex is saying is very clear to me. Alex is saying "Give peace a chance, John McCain, give peace a chance."


A war zone. American troops are kicking in the door to a tidy house where a family is gathered around the tea table. Machinegun fire echoes in the distance as a baby cries. The soldiers herd the entire family off to a waiting deuce and a half with the word "Guantanamo" scripted on the side.


Young Woman with Baby
So what I'm tellin you on behalf of Alex, Senator McCain, is that you can't have him. You can't get your hooks into him. Maybe one day when you have a son, you will understand. You can't have Alex. You can't have our babies.


MSNBC Studios with Mika Brezinski and Willie Geist. They are still in the midst of a commercial break. Willie is expressing wonderment to Mika.

Willie Geist (wryly)
I don't get that Moron Dot Morg thing, Mika... Doesn't McCain have a son in Iraq?

Mika Brezinski
Yeah, well he had two of them but who knew? You're missing the point, Willie. My dad helped George with that political info-mercial. The public needs to know.
Willie Geist (persisting)
But isn't McCain, I mean...Isn't McCain sort of like the real deal or something? I mean...wasn't he...

Mika Brezinski
Yeah, yeah, we heard all that before. Shot out of the air, whoop-de-doo! Tortured and blah-blah...that was years ago and who gives a shit? If he was such a hot-shit, he'd have gone to Harvard and been president of the Harvard Law Review like...

Willie Geist
Barack Obama?

Mika Brezinski
Right. And now we're back live on MSNBC, The Obama Channel.

Willie Geist
And with us now is the Senator from Chicago, Barack Obama...


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