Monday, June 9, 2008

Barack Obama Demonstrating How Not To Ride a Bike While Running for President

Who does he think he is, anyway?...John Kerry? Could he hike up his jeans any higher? Note the Isod polo shirt, the one with the little alligator emblem. Does Obama have one of those plastic pen-holders, too? And lose the helmet, dude! Rolling on the sidewalk at 3 mph won't result in a head injury, no matter what your mother said.

On the other hand, we should be grateful. He might have worn those John Kerry biking-windsurfer shorts and a yellow jersey with dots.

There must have been a great deal of discussion among Obama's handlers when planning for the little bike ride. Axelrod must have thought the getup made Obama look like an "ordinary Joe," instead of "Joe Schmuck." Then again, perhaps that was the image he was aiming for, especially after the perfunctory and desultory appearance at AIPAC. Obama has a dreamy bemused look--no doubt pondering once more the high prices they're getting for Arugula at upscale Whole Foods.

Now let's focus on the more important things: the gay shoes and the bike's tail. I suppose the bike has a tail, or perhaps it's a tailpipe, or maybe it's just a weird looking fender. A fender would prevent Obama getting dust on his Isod shirt. It doesn't look at all like a conventional bike fender, and it sure doesn't match the bike.

Now the bike itself, that's another story. Obama's not getting full leg extension there. So the bike doesn't fit him. Did he borrow it from Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann? It's a "boy's bike" so he can't claim it belongs to wife or daughters. A mystery, a complete mystery, a mystery wrapped inside an enigma and a conundrum or whatever T F the David Ferie character was blathering about in the JFK film.

It's all very bizarre. If PUMA (Party Unity, My Ass) gets a hold of this it will be better than the Quarter Note tape (if that exists.)

Oh God, we need him to save our country.

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