Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Obama Translations: Witticisms, Aphorisms, and Bon Mots

Being aware of how difficult it is to know the real Obama, I’ve volunteered to translate some of the candidate’s witty aphorisms and bon mots.

Here are some translations of statements made during the candidates visit yesterday to Scranton, Pa. Speaking before a small contingent of the Society of Irish American Women, Obama said:

"When I am president Ireland will truly have a friend in the White House."

Translation: Obama launch a bold foreign policy initiative by making frequent trips to Ireland to visit with Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern. In so doing, Obama expects be awarded a Nobel for averting war with the island nation.

During the same visit to Scranton, Obama told the Irish-American Society Women:

“It is the story of believing in things unseen and making that belief a reality."

Obama’s middle school English teacher has frequently admonished Obama for hyperbole and verbosity. Consulted by telephone from Peoria, the English teacher pointed out that Obama’s statement was a non-sequitur and that there was a problem with syntactical relationship. The second phrase must agree with the first, in other words. The second phrase “making that belief a reality” should be in syntactical agreement with the word “story” in the first phrase. Therefore, the sentence should have been delivered as follows:

“It is the story of believing in things unseen and making that ‘story’ a reality.”

Aside from the failures of Obama’s syntax, the feisty middle school English teacher advises Obama to use the simpler sentences:

“I use my imagination. I make things up.”

No comments: