I got a Christmas card from Mike Huckabee. It was on TV. In a seasonal red sweater and with a camera shot passed through a warm filter, Neo-Jesus looked like the kind of guy you could trust to watch your kids while you were out to caucus in Iowa.
With a cross in the background of the campaign ad, the Arkansas governor entreats you to forget all about the nastiness of politics. Don’t get turned off by the process. Focus on warmth and the Christmas season. Iowa next stop, don’t worry about it.
Neo-Jesus saves. Neo-Jesus forgives. As governor of Iowa, he’s issued over a thousand pardons or commuted sentences. It’s in the Bible—remember Barabbas? Barabbas was a burglar. Neo-Jesus goes one step further than Real Jesus and pardons a murderer and a rapist, the papers say. Neo-Jesus is a nice guy. He forgives and spends money. The Morning Joe cast on MSNBC adores him. Democrats adore him because they can beat him down later when it counts.
Neo-Jesus is with me always...