Thursday, May 9, 2013

What's Cooking in Boston? The Tsarnaev Saga

SCENE ONE.
TAM TSARNAEV’S small apartment in Boston.  There is a young woman dressed in a burkha attending to a cook stove in the kitchen.  Only her eyes are visible as she stirs food into a bowl.  There is a side door to the kitchen which suddenly bursts open.  A man enters, smiling and shadow-boxing,.  This is TAM TSARNAEV.

TAM TSARNAEV
(with a flourish, enjoying himself)
What’s cooking, Katherine?  It smells so good.

KATHERINE RUSSELL
I call it ‘IED delight.”  It’s an American dish.  Ha-ha!

TAM TSARNAEV
Ho-ho-ho!  You make joke, Katherine. 

KATHERINE RUSSELL
Yes, I make joke, Tam.

TAM TSARNAEV
Don’t make joke of me, Katherine.  I will slap you again.

KATHERINE RUSSELL
Where were you, Tam?

TAM TSARNAEV
I will slap you with left hook, maybe with uppercut.

(TAM TSARNAEV shadow-boxes around the kitchen, throwing jabs, left hooks, rights)

TAM TSARNAEV
Good Muslim woman does not ask husband questions.  How about some rice? I’m hungry.

KATHERINE RUSSELL
I cannot make rice.  I cannot find my pressure cooker.

TAM TSARNAEV
Don’t worry about the pressure cooker.  I will buy you a new pressure cooker.

KATHERINE RUSSELL
But this one is the 6th pressure cooker you’ve bought for me this month.  What happens to them?  Where are my pressure cookers going? 

(TUNE IN DAILY AS THE DRAMA CONTINUES.  LEARN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A PRIVILEGED UPPER MIDDLE CLASS PHYSICIAN'S DAUGHTER DONS A BURKHA TO PLEASE HER VOLATILE HUSBAND--AND IN THE PROCESS LOSES HER PRESSURE COOKERS.)

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