Friday, June 27, 2008

Barack Obama, The Movie: Sequence 4 (Obama Saves Budweiser for America)


In this episode, Mika Brezinski continues her interview with Mr. WWW.Barackobama.com. Be sure to keep up to date with episode sequences 1 to 3 before reading:

Mika Brezinski
Plus you married a woman, too, didn't you? Woman-haters don't generally do that, do they?

Barack Obama
No, they don't.

Mika Brezinski (delighted)
Well put, Senator.
(puts out her fist)
Give me a fist bump, bro'...

They bump fists.

C.U.

The MSNBC cameras move into a long, steady closeup of the two fists bumped together, one fist cream-colored, the other darker, a color between regular coffee and latte. A subliminal message is flashed across the screen. As background, there is the Original Obama Presidential Seal which is intended to be similar to the real one but has an ersatz look. At 500 nano-second intervals, the word "Unity" is sublimally flashed in the foreground.

Barack Obama
What about you, Willie. Would you like to fist-bump, too?

Willie Geist
Sure!...
(reaches fist out)
Willie Geist and Barack Obama bump fists. The Obama Channel cameras move back to take in the entire studio again.

Mika Brezinski
And you know, Senator, we've often been accused of being partial to the Democratic side, your side...and though we think that insinuation comes from Karl Rove and the rest of that horrible right-wing attack machine...I'd like to ask you a very difficult and sensitive question....

Barack Obama
Sure...Go right head, Mika.

They fist bump happily. Willie tries to fist-bump too, but is ignored.

Mika Brezinski
NAFTA, Senator...Americans are worried about the export of jobs overseas. And you are widely regarded as the protector of American jobs, aren't you?

Barack Obama
Yes, that's right, Mika

Mika Brezinski
Good answer!....and your right-wing extremist neo-con opponents often point to your lack of experience and alleged elitism. Is there any recent example of how you might act to save America's jobs?

Barack Obama
Sure I can!
(gravely)
Mika, as you know I've been long opposed to the takeover of Anheuser-Busch by foreign interests who...
(thoughtfully pondering)
Foreign interests who are not very much interested in America's national security...
(more thoughtful pondering)
Nor its national pastime--baseball. So right now John McCain's Republicans are filibustering my bill to save Anheuser-Busch from foreign buyers.

Willie Geist
You're talking about the InBev invasion!

Barack Obama
That's right, Willie.... Think...about...that for a moment. A Belgian company...InBev...attempting a...now catch my meaning--a hostile, that's right, HOSTILE takeover of the company that makes Budweiser and so many other great beers.

Mika Brezinski
Oh, you're sooooo right, Senator..

Barack Obama
And you know...Mika....Willie....this goes right to the heart...that's right, the heart...incidentally, I have a special health care program to deal specifically with heart conditions...but this goes to the heart of foreign ownership of America's greatest beer company...

Mika Brezinski
Ooooh, Barack!....This issue has got great appeal to America's blue-collar workers and beer-drinkers.

Willie Geist
And yet, there are those who say you are an elitist, that you dont...relate!

Barack Obama
Well, the neocons won't try that again...not since my FIGHT THE SMEARS website went up. Now the American people can look on there...look on there...if they wanna'..they're gonna' see the truth on there...the truth...

Mika Brezinski
But what is the danger to America in foreign ownership of a beer company?

Barack Obama
National security, Mika! Money and jobs to Belgium means more pain at the taps here in America!

Willie Geist
Raised prices!

Barack Obama
Right again, Willie... And here's a fist-bump for you...
(they bump)

Mika Brezinski
Inflation!

Barack Obama
Not only that, Mika...but my research shows that Americans will be less happy than they are now. Americans are not happy. Democrats want America to be happy; the Republicans don't. John McCain is honorable but he doesn't want a bunch of happy Americans running around. Happy Americans mean the end of the Republican domination of the White House.

Willie Geist
We've got to all fist bump that one, Senator.

The three fist-bump together. Mika and Willie are wide-eyed because the voices in their earpieces are frantic.
Mika Brezinski
Okay...just hold that thought, Barack...We've got to cut for a commerical.

CUT TO:

An Annheuser-Busch commercial featuring Barack Obama in a sky-box of a Chicago ball-park with his feet up, holding a can of Bud and smiling.

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