In Search of a Culture War Correspondent

I've decided I need a Culture War Correspondent and have begun interviewing. Blogs need variety. Moeursalen has a strong tendency toward solipsism. It would be nice to have a Left Coast Culture War Correspondent. I received a brief resume from a candidate named "Amy" who lives alternatively in Nevada and California. She calls that a "full spectrum living arrangement." I would like to know what readers think of her resume offerings:

Dear Mr. Moeursalen:

I've replied to you in some format approaching sequential, but my usual format in any expression is non-sequitur. English teachers refer to this as "rambling.” Psychologists call it "Attention Deficit".

Believe what you want to believe, see what you care to see, think what you think is righteous, ethical, harmless. Nothing is harmless.

I'm good with 2-word expressions only. I'd be okay working for a teenage tee shirt company. But I usually don't like to complete the ESSAY so to speak. It is very boring and futile to make attempts at completion in Life. Nothing gets DONE.

I remember prayers- and use them in Emergencies. The saints must have a huge backlog of rantings from people, huh? They just aren't jumpin’ in like they used to...

My husband likes to visit California Mexican Padre Missions. But you can't get him inside of any church. He's good at praying in emergencies though.

My dog, Mia is here with me. She has just ripped her latest toy (stuffed animal) to bits. David calls Mia's stuffed animals "dummies". I told him that is a little offensive and politically incorrect. He still calls them "Dummies".

You may think I have forgotten the original intent of my application as Left Coast Culture War Correspondent, but I haven’t. Drifting is merely the usual form of conversation in a state divided by the San Andreas fault. Should you give me the job, I’m sure that your perverse politico-literary pretensions would be requited. Nobody in Hollywood today can lose a train of thought like I can!