Thursday, July 19, 2007
Senate Stop-The-War Pajama Party…
A One Act Play.
Scene: The stately Senate building in Washington D.C. Teams of undocumented workers wheeling cots and bedpans into the erstwhile edifice. Strolling into the Senate Building arm-in-arm: Hilary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Senator Carl Levin and a host of minor players.
Harry Reid: Together we’ll save the soldiers, the enlisted men, the draftees! We’ll stonewall the troop spending bill!
Nancy Pelosi: Geezuz, Harry… get it together. There are no draftees!
Harry Reid: No? Well alright then, we’ll save the dummies that joined up and don’t know any better.
Carl Levin: Right on! Hey, do I look statesmanlike?
Hilary: Statesmanlike? Well, duh! Don’t you mean “statespersonlike?”
Carl: Yeah. Sorry, that’s exactly what I meant, Hil. But hey!.. Check out these new Ben Franklin bifocals. CNN will absolutely shit when I pop these babies on.
Harry Reid: Why would you want to peer over your bifocals like Ben Franklin when you can be like me and look like Calvin Coolidge? Think how much money we’ll save if we cut out bullets, bombs, boots, aircraft, and striker vehicles from the defense budget. Wouldn’t you like to get the credit for that?
Carl Levin: Sure, but who got more ass than Ben Franklin? Not stingy Calvin Coolidge, that’s for sure.
Nancy Pelosi: Where’s my bunk? I’m bushed already?
Hilary Clinton: Who could sleep with this racket going on?
Harry Reid: Don’t worry, Nance… We’ve got the 600 threadcount sheets for you. And those little yellow pills you like so much. You’ll sleep like a twenty year old dog. And tomorrow when you wake up, it’ll be a New America.
Nancy Pelosi: New America? That’s catchy but talk to me about it tomorrow. I’ve got to get some shuteye. (Fumbling in her purse) Damn!...where are my sleeping pills? (Something drops from purse, but the Majority Leader quickly snatches it up, embarrassed.)
Hilary Clinton (winks): Nice catch, Nancy. I hope that was the energy saver.
Carl Levin: What was that?
Harry Reid: Don’t worry, Nance…what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Hilary Clinton: Shut up, Harry, we’re not in Vegas anymore, it’s four a.m. and we’ve got to show America how to lose this war.
Carl Levin: You go, girl! You’re up next! Tell ‘em how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
(Hilary walks across the floor and mounts the dais and begins to speak. Nancy Pelosi climbs into a small, narrow cot and pulls the sheets over her head. Carl Levin pulls out a compact mirror, applies makeup and works on his Ben Franklin look. Harry Reid looks about confused by all the activity… )
Harry Reid: Anybody wanna’ play horsey?
(Political Drama Thriller to Be Continued Indefinitely.)
Preview of Coming Events: Tune in next week to see Al Qaeda captives being mercilessly tortured by being locked into a cell 24/7 with Cindy Sheehan)